Monday, 28 November 2011


As Christmas nears and conversation turns very seasonal, it’s not entirely surprising just how often conversation turns to relationships. I did a quick sum in my head of those I consider my closest friends (I restricted this to 15) and was really surprised at the statistics. Of those 15 people, 9 were single. As a statistic that’s 60% that are single! And that really surprised me (except the one who is a widow), coz realistically these friends of mine have been looking for a partner fairly actively for quite some time now and wow that did blow me away. The more I thought about it the more I really did struggle to answer why the hell so many of them are single.
Are we simply becoming fussier at choosing and accepting partners, or are potential partners that unsuitable, or are we simply too shy to ask out those who we fancy?
Take one of my gay mates who was up to recently dating a guy, who after 2 months, and a holiday in Italy together, deigned it time to tell my mate that his long time plan was to marry a girl. I’m glad to say that my mate dumped his sorry butt instantly. I know I haven’t actively been out there dating scene in a while but seriously have we not got past the mindset that gay guys need to get married to a girl yet? I wonder whether this is the reason why so many people are single; maybe they’re just having their time wasted by idiots like that, and yes I do seriously think that guy wasted 2 months of my mate’s life – 2 months that he is never going to get back. But then that said I see one of my mates who very recently met his new guy and man they look so cute together it makes this aimless random dating people go through worth it. Hmmm also maybe I should point out that one of my closest mates is also one of those gay guys that still talks about getting married, although that has waned more recently with his increased acceptance of his sexuality, but every now and then he does mention a girl and getting married, and me being me, it’s sometimes quite hard to not roll my eyes. But he isn’t really out there dating people or wasting their time.

1 comment:

Jules said...

I think it's a bit of everything you've said. The net has been both a godsend and a horror in the world of dating and meeting people. On one hand, people have begun to lose the ability to meet face to face. On the other hand, it reduces inhibitions.

It has made us become anti-social in the real world, and uber social online. Unfortunately, most meet ups from online things don't work out. But by the time we've figured that out, we've become reclusive and we lack the gumption to go out and talk to people in public.

I think there's also a general fear of non-acceptance that always follows people around wherever they go, and people are less willing to take risks.

All of that being said, when I look at potential partners in my local area, it's sliiiiiim pickin's. I'm sure if I did see someone appealing that wasn't obviously hooked up already, I'd approach them. I'm outgoing enough and I can deal with rejection. But I haven't noticed anyone really, around these parts.

Plus, people seem to have lost the meaning behind wearing a wedding ring. Sooo many men refuse to wear them now but are indeed married. Those people, I feel don't value the sanctity of marriage. A person should proudly wear their wedding ring, if not for the pride, then for the signal to others that you are unavailable.

Dating is hard. Finding someone date-able is even harder.