Turkey Time

This is slightly (read: majorly) overdue esp considering this post has been sitting idly on my phone since Oct. Here is a short outline of the trip (read: long nontheless) of the trip:

Day 1

Well to say we had a chaotic start & end would be a huge understatement. The day started pretty crap as I felt like something one would scrape off the insides of a gutter.. saying I felt ill barely does justice. Anyways that aside, then came the flight, which involved these 2 brats sitting behind me constantly kicking the seat. After about 20 mins my patience completely worn out I was forced to tell their mother to control them (how difficult is it for a parent to notice their kids disturbing others.. I'd never let my niece disturb anyone like that).. with those harsh words said she moved them to another seat. Thank the Lord as I was ready to murder them by that point.

Having arrived in Turkey I realized that the Holiday Travel Agent had cocked up the transfer and I was left to wait again until my patience wore thin and I yelled at the gezzer who asked me to wait to one side for almost an hour. I'm tired, frustrated & bored and he gets my temper at it's peak - FYI it's 5am by this time. I swiftly find my family and I on a coach headed to the hotel. Result or what? I do however hate losing my temper.. as a Leo I'm like fire incarnate and it's not a pretty sight.

Day 2

Having endured the maximum amount of shit I can deal with the previous day I'm determined to make this day work for me.

With the holiday rep turning up 40 mins late for the Welcome Meeting.. I find myself pretty annoyed. But lucky for her by the time she arrives my anger & annoyance has subsided and she doesn't bear any of my frustration. I find out from her the cost of excursions. I approximate what we want to cover and I'm dissapointed when I realize there isn't enough time to take a trip to Rhodes (which is quite nearby). With that in mind we head off to Marmaris town center by bus and I realize that I could have walked there in 20 mins. We find a travel agent and barter our excursions using the prices the Rep gave us as an anchor. I'm pleased as we've managed to save ourselves £100. Here is a picture of the gezzer who helped us sleeping when we walked in.


On the return my mum glares at me when I suggest we walk back to the hotel, so we catch a bus back. Not even 3 stops later my aunt says she wants to go to a shop we just passed so we hop off the bus and I'm pleased that we walk the rest of the way back FYI I love walking (more so when the sun was shining like it was).

Day 3

We take a tour to Ephesus. It's a Greek built city that has only recently been excavated. It's simmers with history. I loved every second of it despite the intense wind causing the worse kind of bad hair days. It houses one of the Ancient Wonders of the World & it's breathtaking.

Thus ended day 1 of a 2-day excursion so we "overnight" (term used by our Guide) at a hotel in Pamukale. Since the hotel we are staying at overlooks the Calcium formations & the city of Heiropolis - my aunt & I take an evening stroll.. amazing barely does it justice. Mum pooped out and insisted on going to bed (with due respect it's now almost 12am & we have an early 6am start the next day) but my aunt & I are geared to make the most of any & every situation when in a foreign Country.

Day 3

We walk through Pamukale. It's a natural spring so the waters are 36degrees. We sunbathe, swim and soak up our feet in the hot waters. An idylic day. We head back to our actual hotel back in Marmaris in the evening.

Day 4

We grace the Turkish Baths in the morning. Since I have my family with me & I know how body conscious they are I opt for a private VIP one. It was expensive but I knew it'd be more hygienic and that the two ladies would prefer the cleanest Turkish bath possible. Plus with VIP they could be a little more fussy and demand that a woman do the scrubbing & washing instead of a man. I get the decent looking chap scrubbing & washing me. It was highly erotic and I'm impressed that 'it that has a mind of it's own' controlled itself. Very impressed esp considering the guy had straddled me whilst scrubbing my inner thighs with his hands underneath my shorts and face hovering over my crotch.


The evening was our "Turkish Night". Bellydancing & other Turkish stlyed entertainment filled the eve. Here is one of my favourites bits from the night:

My aunt wasn't too impressed by the attention the male (& clearly gay) bellydancer plastered on me. See here part of his initial routine.

In the middle of his dance piece he stopped, looked me straight in the eyes and did 'nameste' (the traditional Indian greeting.. where one puts both palms together and inclines the head) and laughed heartily when I inclined my head in return. A sign of mutual respect and acknowledgement. Immediately after his dance he raced over to me first and hugged me with a warmth only gay people reserve for other people. My aunt was not best pleased with this but even she couldn't help but laugh.

Day 5

We did Icmelar Market & a City tour. We stopped at a Gold Centre where one really cute Turkish guy started talking to me. We talked about work and life in London compared to Turkey. We spoke for a good 20mins. I was a bit taken aback when he asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no. He looked into my eyes with intensity and burning curiosity but sensing this conversation was about to nosedive I bid him farewell immediately and dashed. It's not the first time recently I've pulled away from such attention from guys. I'm hoping that'll change in time.

At the Leather Showroom later, some bloke from the showroom dragged me onto the Catwalk despite me being in shorts to don a leather jacket. Imagine how funny I must have looked with low cut cream shorts, a wafer thin yellow Mr Men tee-shirt and then an expensive leather evening jacket on top.

At the Halwa shop I finally got a respite and wasn't focused on. The marina offered the most perfect pictures ever.

Finally at the Market I got more attention than I would have personally liked but still it was good on the ego. One cute guy took off my tee-shirt (which I only realised he was planning to do after it was off) - he was merely inspecting the material and design and then simply pulled it off and ran off without so much as a backward glance. I was standing there with my jaw hanging open, topless and the tourists around me delighted that this sleepy market had some soul afterall. FYI: He did bring it back a short while later. But by this time the story of the market stall owner running off with my tee had made me a minor celebrity. We traveled from one side of the Market to the other and everyone had something to say on my Mr Noisy tee. Very funny it was. My favourite quote of the day was when the market stall owner yelled out at me: "Yo Mr Noisy come here, everything is cheaper than shop-lifting".

In the evening I got a haircut, a Turkish shave (where the bastard put a lighter to my ears and burnt the fine ear hair) & then had my eyebrows shaped. I swear the whole experience hurt worse than when I got my tattoo. It just made me so glad I'm not a woman. Here is a picture that still makes me go ouch*:

* - this is the scars two days later :o(

Day 6

We went to the Daylan Mudbath.. which in itself is a story, as well as the Turtle Beach, where I wrote "AMIT SAYS HELLO" in the sand. When we passed by the beach in the evening (a good 8 hours later) it was still there (I wonder if it's still there or if it might be the first thing a baby turtle sees when it crawls out from the sand). Nice. We didn't see any actual loggerhead turtles though :o( but I had him to keep me visually occupied:

Whilst I said it's a story in itself, here are the main bits of the mudbaths. We were given an hour to enjoy the mudbaths.. obviously the ladies took 15 mins getting into their swimwear.

The crunch point was that the changing cabins had no door just a gap in the straw (yes as in a straw hut which was see-through in many areas. Now I'm quite shameless anyway so I flung on my trunks (I need me a nice tight pair of Aussiebums) without so much as a blink of an eye and dived into the mud and covered myself and my aunt in sludge. My mum had changed into her swimwear and then realized that there was no way she wanted the agony of enduring the shame of changing and showering here so she returned to the cabin and donned her clothes.

Whilst dunking in the mud-pool I realized that everyone else was using the muddy water and there was no actual mud.. after searching I found some settled mud in a corner of the pool so I dug deep and scooped the mud out so that my aunt and I could aptly cover our skin. Upon emerging from the mud people noted that we were the only ones covered in actual mud so instantly we became akin to celebraties & random strangers started photographing & filming us. I now know how it feels to have paparazzi trying to "capture" you. Pity for them that both my aunt and I do not have picture perfect bodies.

When the tour guide started yelling at us to get into the shower & start washing my aunt and I headed into the showers (read: cold no privacy open air sprinklers not real showers) and attempted to wash. The mud however was so thick it would barely peel with the force of the sprinkler. We scrubbed (my aunt in her swimwear and me in my trunks) and when my patience wore out I pulled my trunks off which resulted in very noticable staring from men & women alike, and attempted to get the mud off the now revealed skin. It was much easier sans the clothes. My aunt merely raised her eyebrow.. having lived with me for so long I think she is used to how blasé I am about nudity. Anyways after I'd stripped I noted an unfit & old man pull his trunks down to reveal his wrinkly bum (eeek that bum really should not be seeing the light of day anymore) and scrub. It was very funny. Similarly a woman in her late forties stripped (again parts of her should not be allowed to see the light of day either).

Having showered I returned to the seating area where I has left my clothes I noticed several people men and women changing here there and everywhere. It was like a nudist camp. I dropped my towel (again cue the staring) and changed into a clean and dry pair of shorts. My aunt however made her way back to the straw cabin slash changing hut (umm that's the see-through ones I mentioned earlier LMAO.. that's all I'm saying) and changed. By this time however my aunt and I were the only ones still here (from our group that is) and everyone had made their way back to the boat (making us late again). Back on the boat came out the body butter, the face moisturizer, the deoderant, the lip balm, & the scents. The girls sitting in front smiling all the time.. clearly knowing only too well the price of looking beautiful. And thus ended the trip to Dalyan.

Day 7

The final day. Packing and manicures! LOL. I had arranged manicures for the final morning for the two lovely ladies. We woke early as there was much to pack and breakfast to be had before we had to check out of the hotel.

Clearly as normal I provided entertainment onboard the shuttle bus - everyone realized there was a step.. all except me obviously. Note that I had tripped not just the once (as then there would have been no joke) but 4 times as I entered or left the bus (going up or down it) and worse was I tripped on the blasted step very audibly each time.. and as a result everyone on the bus chorus'd "mind the step" everytime I approached the step. It was so funny. On leaving the bus at the airport I took a bow on the blasted step and everyone applauded. And that folks is my last Turkish memory. Here is the infamous step:

Encoded on Ams' iPhone